What does it mean to elope?
Are you thinking about a couple running off to a little white chapel in Vegas to be married by Elvis? Maybe you’re thinking of a secret ceremony where a couple signs a few papers in the courthouse to avoid the negative feedback and backlash from their disapproving family?
If that’s where your mind goes, you’re not the only one. There are so many negative stigmas surrounding elopements that not many people understand what it means to to elope. But guess what – that’s not what an elopement is anymore. While those things may have once been true, they’re not what the majority of elopements are anymore. So if those things are no longer true, what the heck is an elopement?
I rewrote my own definition of elopement.
Elopement Definition
“An epic day. But not epic in the terms of epic views (although that’s always a bonus.) It’s epic in the aspect that you have complete freedom on the biggest day of your life. It’s all about intentionality, authenticity, and the celebration of the first day of the rest of your life together.”
It’s not about where you are.
It’s not about what you’re doing.
It’s not about who’s there.
Eloping is about you and your partner. It’s about celebrating the fact that you’ve made the crazy idea to take this life on together. It’s about being fully present and intentional on the biggest day of your life. It’s shaking off the pressure, anxiety, stress, and obligation that has been weighing you down. It’s about realizing that there is no “right” or one way to get married. It’s the freedom to start your lives together wherever and however you want.
Why Elopements?
I absolutely love what I do and I’m so passionate about helping couples bring their dream day to life. But I also think that elopements have a bad rap and are seen as “lesser” as compared to weddings. I’m here to help change people’s thoughts on elopements by educating others on what an elopement really is. If you’ve ever been to an elopement, a true elopement, you can feel the difference between weddings and elopements. It’s a feeling that I’ve experienced at every elopement in the past and continue with current elopements.
It’s about laughing and going with the flow when things out of your control happen.
It’s about the look that couples get when they realize that they get to say “I Do” in a beautifully remote place.
It’s about getting married then going ocean kayaking because you wanted to.
It’s about the way someone looks at their partner during the vows as strangers are walking by in a city while the couple can’t see anyone but their partner.
It’s about someone having the flexibility to take a few minutes to enjoy a sign that a passed loved one has come to support them on their elopement day.
It’s about having your guests truly and intimately know you both as individuals and as a couple.
It’s not about the material items and the details. It’s not a big show or production where your primary focus of planning is on your guests. It’s not about the seating charts or the perfect bridesmaids dresses. It’s about shifting that focus back onto the couple. Shifting that focus back onto the love you share and the experience that you’re going to have together. Intentionality and authenticity are the biggest things that matter when deciding if an elopement is right for you and if those are two of the things that you value most on your wedding day – then an elopement might be perfect for you.
What Eloping Isn’t…
Elopements aren’t only for people who don’t want to have guests in attendance.
In the past, when we’ve thought about elopements, they consist only of the couple getting married and the officiant. Family and friends are a big part of our lives and for many people, a critical part of their dream wedding day is to be surrounded by family and friends when they say “I do.” You can have a few immediate family members there or you can invite friends and your closest extended family members. It’s important to have your people by your side on your elopement day if that’s what you want. You wouldn’t choose between the wedding of your dreams and having your closest people in attendance, so why should elopements be any different?
While elopements have lower guest counts than a traditional wedding, the reason is to have the day center around the couple getting married, not the guests.
Elopements aren’t for people who don’t want to invest in their wedding.
People often think that elopements are the cheaper option and honestly, this isn’t a bad thing. While elopements can be a cheaper option, many of them aren’t cheap. While you’ll most likely invest less in your elopement than you would in a wedding, elopements aren’t just about saving money. They’re for people who value their experience and would rather invest their money in a guide to take them kayaking through a glacial river or book a nice Airbnb for a few extra days to enjoy being married without the distractions of every day life.
Elopements aren’t about the money- they’re about authentically honoring and celebrating the love that you and your partner share with each other. That’s what they’re all about.
Elopements are for secret and unapproved marriages.
When you think of the word elopement, does your mind think of a secret ceremony where the couple doesn’t want friends or family to know out of fear, shame, or disapproval? While elopements may have been shrouded in secrecy in the past, that’s not the point of a modern elopement.
Having tons of guests pulls the focus away from the couple and onto the guests experience; by limiting or avoiding having guests in attendance, undivided attention is placed onto the couple getting married and celebration of the love they have for each other.
Elopements are poorly planed and last minute decisions.
In the past, elopements are thought to have been spur of the moment decisions with minimal to no planning; that’s not true for all modern elopements.
The truth is that the majority of my couples start planning their elopement 9 months to a year in advance. Permits can take varying lengths of time to be processed and approved, activities for the day are intentionally chosen and planned, if you’re wanting to hire any vendors such as a photographer or hair and makeup artist they should be booked sooner rather than later since they can book out far in advance, and the schedule for the day of the elopement is created then looked over and tweaked numerous times to make sure that your day is the truest reflection of your love for each other.
Now, I have had couples plan and bring an elopement to life in as little as 2 days (yes, you read that right.) But the amount of time that is spent on the planning has no correlation to how intentional and authentic the day is. There’s just as much love and intimacy present at quickly planned elopements as there is at elopements that have taken a year to plan.
The amount of time spent on planning doesn’t change the fact that when a couple decides to elope, they decide to choose themselves. They decide to have complete and total freedom on the biggest day of their lives and no amount of time spent planning changes that. Wether the elopement was planned in 2 days or 12 months, the focus of the day is on the couple getting to be fully present and experiencing the first day of the rest of their lives.
Elopements are rushed ceremonies and the whole thing is over in an hour or less.
While the ceremony itself typically isn’t very long, your day is so much more than your ceremony. Sure you could say a few words to each other, snap a few pictures, and finish everything up in an hour or so but why would you want to? You only get one chance at your big day so why shouldn’t you enjoy the entire day?
An elopement, a true elopement, is an experience full of hundreds of love and emotion filled moments. Those moments deserve more than an hour or two and setting aside multiple hours for your elopement ensures that there’s enough space and time for each and every one of those priceless moments.
I’ve found that the majority of my clients decide to spend anywhere from 4-10 hours on their elopement day which allows them complete freedom to celebrate their big day in any way they choose.
SO WHAT DO YOU DO WITH ALL THAT TIME?
- You could go ocean kayaking because you’ve never been but have always wanted to try it.
- You could go rock climbing to celebrate the activity that brought you together as a couple.
- You could go on an overnight backpacking trip to say your vows in the most beautifully remote place that you can think of.
- You could take the day to go tide pooling and enjoy being fully present in the joy of knowing that you just married your best friend.
The biggest day of your life deserves more than an hour or two and so do you.
To Sum It All Up...
An elopement is unapologetically and intentionally about you and your partner. It’s surrounding yourself with the people that you hold nearest and dearest to your heart if that’s what’s important to you.
Elopements aren’t for everyone and that’s okay. That doesn’t make them any less of a celebration or any less valid.
Elopements aren’t for people who want to rush through the biggest day of their lives. They’re for people who love their partner so deeply that they’re willing to throw out the book on tradition and make the daring choice to choose each other and the experience that you’ll share with each other (and your guests if you choose.) Elopements are for people who don’t want conventional, they want the freedom to devote their life to their best friend in any way that feels truly, authentically them. They want to spend the day celebrating the first day of the rest of their lives.
Elopements are for people who want to look into the eyes of the love of their life while shamelessly and boldly saying exactly what’s in their heart.
Elopements are for people who value their love so much that it’s the center of the biggest day of their life.
Elopements are for people who want to know that their day is completely, wholly, and intimately about them.
Elopements aren’t a quick ceremony, a few photos, and then it’s over.
Elopements aren’t any less legitimate and meaningful than a wedding.
Elopements are a blank slate. They avoid stress, obligations, and give you the freedom to celebrate the biggest day of your life in a way that is the truest reflection of you and your unique love.
They’re authentic, brave, intentional, and intimate.
That’s what eloping really is.
YOU DESERVE A DAY THAT IS NOTHING LESS THAN THE DAY OF YOUR DREAMS – DON’T LET ANYONE TRY TO CONVINCE YOU DIFFERENTLY!
NEED A PHOTOGRAPHER FOR YOUR INTIMATE ELOPEMENT?
I would absolutely love to be a part of your special day!
